• Nancy

How to know if you're a Downer

Like bad body odor, sometimes we have to check to see if we are the one pulling everyone else down. Are you giving off negative energy? Are people arguing, diverting, or fleeing? Here are some ways to check and ways to shift your thinking for better results.

One way to know if you are giving off negative energy is to watch the reactions people have toward you. Do those closest to you seem to argue with you, stressing a more positive point of view? They may be subtly trying to perk you up, so they can stay close to you without wilting.

Do colleagues change the subject? Some people are gifted at deflecting negativity by diverting to other topics. At times, we need to let go of the story we thought was so interesting and let someone else have the floor.

Do strangers make a seemingly quick exit? Those who do not have to be around a negative person will flee. Watch for these subtle cues. Is there a trend? If so, sniff under your emotional arm and see if you have ‘stinking thinking’.

Like broadcast towers sending out radio waves, we broadcast to others the way we think in our minds and feel in our hearts. Some people are more sensitive to this phenomenon and will be pulled down by negativity. The Law of Emotional Gravity states, “One negative person can bring ten positive people down. But, ten positive people cannot bring one negative person up.” It is up to the negative person to shift their own energy by monitoring what is in their hearts and minds. Otherwise, people will leave them in the dust.

Do you notice these three signs of arguing, diverting, and fleeing? If you want more positive results, check the thoughts that occupy your mind. What you focus on and the meaning you assign to things determine the direction and weight of your energy.

There are three insidious thoughts that impact the quality of our energy. They are worry, jealousy, and blame.

Are you consistently focusing on the worst that could happen? Do you live in worry and fear? Ask yourself, “what are the odds of that actually coming to pass?”

Are you habitually telling stories of someone’s limitations or mistakes? Ask yourself, “How am I like them? What about them reminds me of something I don’t like about myself?” Do you compare yourself to others, find yourself lacking, and then have to pull them down so you will not be jealous? Jealousy is an insidious problem that leads to all kinds of bad behavior and poor health. Know that you are here because of what you can offer, not for what you can get. Focus on being the best at being yourself.

Are you angry with someone, something, or the whole world for causing your problems? I remember being in the back of an overcrowded airplane. The surly flight attendant coming down the aisle with the drink cart turned to his colleague and seethed, “You know, this would be a great job if it wasn’t for all these passengers.” If we are blaming our anger and discomfort on others, we are putting on the “Victim” mask. There is power in being a victim. The power, however, is negative.

By being vigilant about the thoughts that occupy your mind and paying attention to the quality of the energy you are broadcasting, you will attract to yourself those who are more positive and uplifting. Overtime, you will laugh for the right reasons, feel healthier, and be happier.

Speaking up is risky. So is staying silent.
You can contact me at:


Tel: 972-897-1236​


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